Midnight Musings
As is the standard bedtime routine, Emily begged me to lay down with her when I announced that it was time to sleep. Her asking is a nightly thing and most times I deny her repeated requests. It's just not a habit I want to get into for any number of reasons. However, time is the most important thing to a child, and the girls and I don't have enough now. We will have even less very soon. My "baby" simply wanted me to lay down with her until she fell asleep so I did.
With me laying next to her and in typical Emmy fashion, she flipped back and forth from side to side five or six times, wrapped her arms and hands in blue "blank" (most kids would call it a blankie) in some complicated manner only she can do, and said "I love you sooooooo much, Mommy" and closed her eyes.
I studied her, remembering snippets of time and moments of the last 2.5 years. The first time I saw her; her size (I never expected to birth a 9lb baby, c-section or otherwise). Wild hair that stood straight up a good 4 inches into the air right after a shampoo. The hours I spent nursing her; just Emmy, me, and a rocking chair. The morning Emmy dressed herself from head to toe was the same morning Sarah (18 months older) had the realization that she might be able to dress herself as well, if she tried.
As I pretended to be asleep beside her, I saw her eyes flutter open two or three times, just checking to make sure I was still there, I suppose. Then, in a matter of seconds, she was out. Her breathing became regular and her little face relaxed. So serene, so peaceful, so sweet. She looked like a cherub. I kissed her on the cheek and she snuggled deeper into her pillow.
Oh to be a child again. To fall asleep with the hint of a smile on your lips and not a care in the world. No worries, no "what ifs", no "what is tomorrow going to brings". All is right with the world when have your mommy beside you and your sister, your best friend, just a few steps away.
With me laying next to her and in typical Emmy fashion, she flipped back and forth from side to side five or six times, wrapped her arms and hands in blue "blank" (most kids would call it a blankie) in some complicated manner only she can do, and said "I love you sooooooo much, Mommy" and closed her eyes.
I studied her, remembering snippets of time and moments of the last 2.5 years. The first time I saw her; her size (I never expected to birth a 9lb baby, c-section or otherwise). Wild hair that stood straight up a good 4 inches into the air right after a shampoo. The hours I spent nursing her; just Emmy, me, and a rocking chair. The morning Emmy dressed herself from head to toe was the same morning Sarah (18 months older) had the realization that she might be able to dress herself as well, if she tried.
As I pretended to be asleep beside her, I saw her eyes flutter open two or three times, just checking to make sure I was still there, I suppose. Then, in a matter of seconds, she was out. Her breathing became regular and her little face relaxed. So serene, so peaceful, so sweet. She looked like a cherub. I kissed her on the cheek and she snuggled deeper into her pillow.
Oh to be a child again. To fall asleep with the hint of a smile on your lips and not a care in the world. No worries, no "what ifs", no "what is tomorrow going to brings". All is right with the world when have your mommy beside you and your sister, your best friend, just a few steps away.
I promise that it's total coincidence that this is titled "midnight musings" and it posted at 12am exactly. Fact is stranger than fiction. No doubt.
ReplyDeletein tears here. Sometimes I get caught up in enforcing the "rules", that when I take time to do and cherish those simple simple requests, it takes my breath away!
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