Charlotte

Charlotte took up residence in a protected corner of my office building (outside, of course) on the window and for weeks she was somewhat of a celebrity. We watched her grow and do all sorts of wonderful spider-y things. Coworkers would arrive in the morning and check on Charlotte before turning on their computers. People from other departments would swing by and ask how she was doing.

Then one day she was gone.

We left a presumably healthy and happy Charlotte on Friday, but on Monday all that remained was her enormous web and a few bits of her last meal.

After a few weeks of hoping Charlotte would return we have just now come to terms with her passing and my coworker and fellow writer, Leslie Mitchell, drafted the following obituary (she may have taken some creative liberties), but please join us in mourning Charlotte’s passing.

Demise of Local Celebrity Saddens MSA Associates, More or Less

Charlotte, in happier times

Charlotte, a yellow garden spider that took up her celebrated residence on the outside of MSA's law department window, spun her last on Sunday, September 18, 2011.

Charlotte's last gasp was accompanied by a yellow mandible droplet that glimmered suspiciously like Bud Light.

The arachnid’s rapid expansion was carefully documented by watchful viewers over a three-week period. However, after a fling with her unseen mate (who was later eaten by Charlotte herself), a knocked-up Charlotte laid an egg in a drunken stupor & literally fell off the wagon…er, window.

MSA intrepid shutterbug John Tallent managed to photograph Charlotte's final hour, after which the corpse was unceremoniously transferred via leaf blower to the nearest flower bed by an unsuspecting landscape contractor. RIP, Charlotte. . .if you'd lasted any longer, you'd be a squashed mess on the end of a rolled-up newspaper.